I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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