We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
