I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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