Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My ATM looks so different sober.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
