Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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