I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
