i may or may not be watching the land before time
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
