She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
