her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
