I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize