I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
