I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
