He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
