Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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