Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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