after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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