I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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