I think I am morally bankrupt
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
