whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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