Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
A+ Viking dick
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
