So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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