Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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