6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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