is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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