Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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