No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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