Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
