Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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