Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
