I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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