What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
