I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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