She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
