Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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