Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Non-Jews are for practice
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
