The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize