yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
