If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
