I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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