please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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