i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
