I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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