the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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