just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What's dad's email?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.