so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.