u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
