I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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