he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize