After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
