Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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