New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
They have beer where we have blood.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
