You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
