I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
