Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
