sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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