That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She just used a chaser for red wine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
