Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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