I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
