My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
